Friday 22 August 2014

Feeling Nervous...

Last day at work with the Year 2 Team
This photo was taken on the last day of the school term a few weeks ago. My very last day teaching in the school I have worked the longest in since becoming a teacher. In the run up it didn't actually feel real, it felt as though the end of term was never going to arrive. But of course it did and on that day I actually got quite emotional. First of all was the last assembly, got a bit choked during that. Later on one of the children from my (dare I say it) best class came over, gave me a hug and told me I was 'a great teacher'. At the end of the day another child from that class came to say goodbye. She said that I was her 'best teacher'. Moments like those are part of what makes teaching a fantastic job. To be fair most kids tell you you're their favourite teacher after you've taught them for a length of time but I hadn't taught them since June 2013 prior to my maternity leave, so it really was touching.
It was at the staff barbecue when my emotions eventually got the better of me. A few of us were leaving and we were being handed cards. My colleague who had started when I did, gave a great leaving speech and when it got to me I couldn't get my words out. Not only because I was on the verge of tears but I can never really say what I want in situations like that. Thanks to reading other blogs I've worked out I have a few social anxiety issues and I believe that's part of what prevents me from saying more or what I really want to say. I ended up sobbing on a colleagues shoulder.
There were many highs and lows throughout my time there. My bump grew there and I worked with an amazing team of people. Some I got to know quite well and others not so well but everyone worked damn hard to make a difference in the children's learning and development.
It will be strange not to return at the beginning of the school term but I know it will be a very different place as lots of changes happened whilst I was on maternity leave.
 
So now I am theoretically jobless but I have registered with a couple of supply teaching agencies. This is why I am nervous and apprehensive. I won't know what school I'll be in, what year group I'll be teaching quite possibly until 7am on the actual day.
I have heard lots of negatives about supply teaching but I've also been told how great it can be too. Still, I'm nervous. What exactly I'm nervous about I'm not entirely sure, there's a mix of things. On any 'not so good days', I'll just have to remind myself that at the end of the day I'll be leaving and I don't have to return.
 
If you have any tips for overcoming/beating the nerves I would love to hear them! :)

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